Still tempted by the sexual dance. I realize that if I were to die today, I would face not the best rewards. ALmost like the deal no deal show. I have the chance of getting great rewards from Jesus, but I could have a land mine of a $1 in my box that I selected in the beginning of the show.
yes, the models are sexy. The models for me are the various fantasies that I have traveled throughout this memorial day weekend whether on Logo Tv or on some of the literary sites that express men's and women's fantasies. I don't know why I am trying to tempt God in this equation. I just sometimes want to get fully aroused. I know it is wrong. Lord, bring me some help so that I don't continue in this destructive pattern. Please make me more like jesus ;yet, I am really struggling in this since I put the key into that pandora's box and I get great pleasure thinking about what is on the other side. Please Lord pray for me and those who read it, pray for me also. thanks.
Monday, May 26, 2008
Saturday, May 17, 2008
Creating purity admist our brokenness
Certain christian men in my church know that I have a problem keeping a pure mind. A lot of gravel has slipped into it. Causing me to slip and slide on occasion. I write this so that others can gain a better PG (pretty good) understanding of what christian men go through.
It is in various books and web sites of what to do. Yet, when the mind is set on not following God for various reasons, it is so easy to turn off the God switch and let the human switch turn on instead. I know what it says about God providing a way out in 1 Cor 10:13 and that Gd says in James to flee from the devil and he will flee from you. Yet, the trap which the devil uses is the beauty and seductiveness surrounded by these temptations. To put it mildly, it is the language that some writers use to describe the experience and the special effects that are employed via clothing and perfume.
Yet as one of my writer friends calls her website, "Lilies have dreams." God is sufficient for our needs. Just as God created lilies for his and our pleasure of sight and smell, they were indeed clothed with beauty. They did not have to worry of how God would supply their needs. They could just be.
We as men and women do not have to meet our fleshly and carnal needs on our own. They can be met by Jesus himself. For God came into the world by Mary and not through Joseph's seed. He came from the seed of God. Just as God interacted with Adam in the Garden of Eden , it was a place where seeds are found. And it was in my ponderings where this seed was found to offer encouragement and hope for those who deeply struggle in this arena.
Remember when Abraham and Sarah looked at God's promise of a son not coming to them for a long time. It was agreed upon for Abraham to sleep with Hagar. It resulted in Ishmael's birthday. Yet it did not bring a party with lots of pomp and circumstance. A lot of strife and dysfunctionality built in. Abe did not trust God at that moment with his promised son. Yet Abraham learned the lesson when Isaac was born and had the willingness to sacrifice him on the altar. Then God knew Abraham's heart was pure and unadulterated by the world.
So when the temptation arises to give into pleasure, it may seem great at the moment, but only God can clothe lilies in the field. For there are no Victoria Secrets in the fields. Only God's natural beauty.
It is in various books and web sites of what to do. Yet, when the mind is set on not following God for various reasons, it is so easy to turn off the God switch and let the human switch turn on instead. I know what it says about God providing a way out in 1 Cor 10:13 and that Gd says in James to flee from the devil and he will flee from you. Yet, the trap which the devil uses is the beauty and seductiveness surrounded by these temptations. To put it mildly, it is the language that some writers use to describe the experience and the special effects that are employed via clothing and perfume.
Yet as one of my writer friends calls her website, "Lilies have dreams." God is sufficient for our needs. Just as God created lilies for his and our pleasure of sight and smell, they were indeed clothed with beauty. They did not have to worry of how God would supply their needs. They could just be.
We as men and women do not have to meet our fleshly and carnal needs on our own. They can be met by Jesus himself. For God came into the world by Mary and not through Joseph's seed. He came from the seed of God. Just as God interacted with Adam in the Garden of Eden , it was a place where seeds are found. And it was in my ponderings where this seed was found to offer encouragement and hope for those who deeply struggle in this arena.
Remember when Abraham and Sarah looked at God's promise of a son not coming to them for a long time. It was agreed upon for Abraham to sleep with Hagar. It resulted in Ishmael's birthday. Yet it did not bring a party with lots of pomp and circumstance. A lot of strife and dysfunctionality built in. Abe did not trust God at that moment with his promised son. Yet Abraham learned the lesson when Isaac was born and had the willingness to sacrifice him on the altar. Then God knew Abraham's heart was pure and unadulterated by the world.
So when the temptation arises to give into pleasure, it may seem great at the moment, but only God can clothe lilies in the field. For there are no Victoria Secrets in the fields. Only God's natural beauty.
Monday, May 5, 2008
I took the evil plunge again
I went south again with my thoughts and spent many moments mesmerizing over what I could read online. It did not go anywhere. I just danced around to nothingness and accomplished nothing . oh man. sorry Lord, Jesus.
Friday, March 7, 2008
The distance of Love
What I have noticed in this world of addictions and the way that love is portrayed is how men measure the distance of love by the magic number of 7 or 9 inches when it comes to length and they view relationships by the distance between body parts such as legs or breasts. But what God judges as expressed through the writings of St. Paul as one's ability to grasp (within one's mind) the height, the depth and breadth and width of God's love. It can not be found through fantasizing or participating in a realm of non-commitment. It can only be found in a personal harmonious relationship to God. For no physical distance or measurement can substitute for the relationship one has to God. Yet, it is a hard thing to measure or fathom. Even if one does have the exact dimensions involved.
Saturday, February 23, 2008
What the Lord says about temptation.
The Lord has a lot to say about temptation and how to overcome.
Ås I face the daily battle along with millions of other men on the issue of how we view women, it can be easy to justify our actions. For those like me who face singleness, the natural God-given desire creeps in and will rear its ugly head once in a while. I will often say to myself, "I deserve this break" or I will say, "No one will ever find out." Yet, as I commented to someone, "God will find out my misdeeds just as He did with Adam and Eve in the Garden. So if I want my territory to increase , I am going to have to go to God and have the game plan firmly in mind or I will make frequent turnovers and fouls and be ineffective in the battle for souls. Praise be to how God can put us on terrafirma when we fall flat on our faces while knowing better.
Ås I face the daily battle along with millions of other men on the issue of how we view women, it can be easy to justify our actions. For those like me who face singleness, the natural God-given desire creeps in and will rear its ugly head once in a while. I will often say to myself, "I deserve this break" or I will say, "No one will ever find out." Yet, as I commented to someone, "God will find out my misdeeds just as He did with Adam and Eve in the Garden. So if I want my territory to increase , I am going to have to go to God and have the game plan firmly in mind or I will make frequent turnovers and fouls and be ineffective in the battle for souls. Praise be to how God can put us on terrafirma when we fall flat on our faces while knowing better.
Sunday, February 17, 2008
Here I go again
I am immensely and insanely attacked and attracted by the past by clicking on the history button on my computer and re-entering the sexy articles that I looked at prior-whether by audio or by just looking at them. i can look at them for hours. letting my mind drift far away and not caring for one moment about what is around me. I enjoy watching my organ swell and my mind goes dancing temporarily from the faith that I so strongly hold onto and into this cyberworld of fantasy and deception. I know it is wrong and I confess it to my friend, Ted, but it is very difficult to get away from. If only I could find a release from it;. I will enter things a little more regularly here on the back side of my blog since I am at war with my members. Help me God. Peace m brothers who struggle with this world wide.\\
Monday, August 20, 2007
The Lie
When I was reflecting on addictions, the lie that is out there is that if I can only have one more fix of whatever makes me feel euphoric , then that is all right and will satisfy. Whether it is the newest movie or the newest fantasy created, it will not meet the cravings of the flesh. It will only drive a wedge between me and my God. Thank you Lord for showing me clearer everyday that truth and may I live that out each and every day. That only you will satisfy my entire soul.
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