When getting my haircut today on Black Rock Turnpike, I saw a fence around a shopping plaza that I used to visit frequently when I was a teenager growing up. It was where I used to pick up some of the latest skin magazines which ranged from Playboy to Penthouse. I used to consume those at the rate of 3 a month for a while. I always had the motto back then of one more time. That is the problem of addiction. There is never one more time. It is only a matter of time where it controls one's appetite and even can affect one's demeanor at the workplace where someone doesn't appear as he usually does.
I regret the actions where I have let the idea of just one more time take ahold. It can range from a printed publication as I mentioned and then it can also relate to the medium of cable where in the comfort of one's home, he can take a glance of what was once in the printed medium action come "alive to the senses." Yet in reality, it really is numbness that is pretending to be alive. It is a trap that got me all the time and never actually set me free as I thought it might.
But, thankfully when I accepted Jesus into my life, I was aware that that was not a real plus in the faith equation. But I did not want to address it then for fear of not knowing how my new faith at the time could intersect my adoration of the female figure. But I knew of the problem and it would never leave my conscience. It is the quickening that leads me to repent or change my ways if I let God do that for me.
I am thankful for my friends of Len and Mike and Keith who have been there for me to share my struggles and not condemn me for them. And to you, Jesus, to listen to this man you can call his own who has never quite licked that beast within. Yet even the apostle Paul never licked that beast of sin or whatever plagued him. You were so gracious to him also for which I am very grateful of.
May these words of confession and encourgement bless those who have a very similar struggle and path of the past. Shalom.